


Don't Eat the Vegitables

by Yemi Hikari (Yemi_Hikari)



Series: Mission Lollipop [5]
Category: X-Men Evolution
Genre: Characters Watching Vegitales, Dinner, Gen, Humor, Meal, Pop Culture, Satire
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-10-08
Updated: 2008-10-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:35:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24880078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yemi_Hikari/pseuds/Yemi%20Hikari
Summary: Some how Freddy is put off eating vegetables due to watching Veggie Tales. This all leads to a certain conversation at the dinner table and some not so nice comments from the mutant who says before he thinks.
Relationships: Frederick Dukes & Lance Alvers, Frederick Dukes & Pietro Maximoff, Frederick Dukes & Toad, Lance Alvers & Pietro Maximoff, Lance Alvers & Toad
Series: Mission Lollipop [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1799734
Kudos: 1
Collections: MinorFandomFest, Platonic Relationships, Siblings





	Don't Eat the Vegitables

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [N/A - All of her X-Men Evolution One-Shots](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/637048) by Red Witch. 



At the Brotherhood household, everyone was sitting down to a home cooked meal, the first time since all of the members had come to join the household. This surprised Mystique greatly, as she wasn't quite sure if this was a good thing, or a bad thing. She had prepared a spinach casserole and had a cucumber salad on the side. There was a reason that she had been surprised that she had been able to get everyone down the stairs.

Todd, who was the first member to have been added to the hilter skilter team had not been a fussy eater, he would eat anything. This unfortunately included eating insects, which meant that Todd didn't mind leaving a mess around for bugs to gather on. Old pizza boxes were a prime way to get a nice supply of flies, or so Todd said. He would thus leave his food trash left around.

Then they added Lance to the household, a teenager who could possibly said to be a meticulous eater. Actually, it was more of he was a teenager who didn't eat very often and had a thing about not eating unless he felt in the mood for it. He also couldn't stand the mess that Todd left around the house, when he left it and would actually clean up with it. It may have had something to do with the fact that his headaches could be set off by anything, including foul smells.

One would have thought that Rouge was a meticulous eater too, but in reality she would eat anything that didn't look like it had been sitting for to long. Her problem was that she didn't like to eat around other people, probably due to the fact of what her powers were. This meant that the whole meal thing wasn't the only time that she wasn't hanging out with the boys. But then, one couldn't really blame her for not wanting to hang out with the loony bin.

Fred was the next person, who would eat anything with his stomach that seemed to be lined with lead. He would mix any combination of foods and just let it sit in his stomach, not puking it up. How he did it, she didn't think she would ever figure out. However, with him coming in, the food bill shot up greatly, as he was also a bottomless pit. She was quite thankful that Magneto supplied the money for the bills.

She however, wasn't so happy about the fact that he had added to the team his own flesh and blood by the name of Pietro. The boy was also seemingly a bottomless pit, though not so much as Fred. This metabolism was probably because he had the speed ability, he ended up with a high metabolism too, thus making him eat a lot.

Rouge and Lance tended to be away from the table at nights, so it was typically the other three that accompanied her at dinner. If guardianship hadn't been placed into her care, she wouldn't have even bothered cooking anything. She also would rather have not had to listen to any of the boys' discussions, expesully those that dealt with demeaning others. Todd was only somewhat good at that, but with Pietro… if one could make money out of his rudeness to others, he would make millions.

She had been cooking in the kitchen with Todd watching over her shoulder. The boy had an odd curiosity about him. Fred was sitting in the dining room because he had been told that more then one cook in the kitchen spoiled the cooking, that and it was a surprise for him to guess what the food was. Todd and Pietro had been watching some sort of children's show with him, which also helped to keep him occupied.

"Alright, Toad… I need you to tell everyone that dinner is ready and that I need Pietro to set the table, which he hasn't done already," Mystique said, pulling the casserole out of the oven and placing it on the hot tray on the table. She then added the salad to the table, waiting for Todd to hurry off.

"Why should I tell everybody?" Todd commented, frowning at her. "I mean, Rouge wants nothing to do with us, nothing at all. As for Lance, he tends to not eat that much and rarely comes to a meal. Plus, Pietro can set the table in only a few seconds… in fact, he'll probably do it at the last minute."

"Just go and tell them!" Mystique snapped at him, her eyes changing color, causing the boy to startle and hurry off. She could hear him thumping on the doors with a loud noise upstairs as he worked to get the attention of the two members in the room.

"Yo yo! Dinner's ready dudes and dudettes!" Todd yelled right near the doorway, causing Mystique to roll her eyes. She could just as easily have yelled up the stairs at them and have gotten the same response, which typically was no response at all. He then hopped into the place where Fred and Pietro were still sitting on the couch watching whatever they were watching.

Mystique then found herself raising an eyebrow as Lance suddenly walked into the kitchen area and sat down at the table, moving the chair out from underneath to sit in with his foot. He didn't dare look her in the face. "I see you've decided to join the living."

"Isn't that something you should be telling Rouge?" Lance commented, adding more to what he said. "She's the one who is completely anti-social… one might say she's a vampire."

"Don't…" Mystique said, suddenly getting into his face. "…call her that! She has enough problems dealing with her abilities without you adding to it."

"I'm not adding into it. Everyone of us has problems with our abilities in case you haven't noticed. I mean… look at Todd's hygiene problem. Joking about it can help you know," Lance said.

"I don't find calling your sister a vampire a joke," Mystique snapped at him, only to have the ground rumble for a few seconds.

"I don't care what you've said… we _aren't_ family! This isn't even a real foster care place and you know it!" Lance snapped at her, his eyes showing anger in them. "So don't pretend that it is… I won't even if the social workers come."

"Doesn't matter if you don't, your known already for being a problem child who doesn't like to try to fit in where ever he is placed," Mystique commented, causing Lance to sink back in the chair, glowering at her as he did so. She then smirked, knowing that this time she had gotten the upper hand of the conversation. Not to say the Brotherhood was stupid, but Lance tended to be the one who would question the way things were, which might eventually end up being a problem.

"Seems rock head is losing his temper again," a southern drawl came from the doorway. Mystique saw Rouge standing in the doorway and motioned for her to take a seat at the table, which she did, to Mystique's surprise. Right about that time Fred and Todd ambled in, also taking seats.

"How come the table isn't set," Lance asked suddenly. "Who's turn is it to set the table… it wasn't mine was it?"

"You've been up in your room during dinner the last few days," Rouge commented. "It's Pietro's job completely now, and Pietro gets it done when Pietro wants to."

Suddenly, there was a blur going around the table and the dishes were suddenly in place, along with Pietro in one of the two still empty chairs. Mystique sat down, shaking her head at the boy, who was smirking at everyone. "Did somebody say my name?"

"Wonderful… for once we're all at the table," she commented, dishing out the food to the teenagers. Pietro and Todd moved to eat their food, but Fred piped up.

"Shouldn't we say grace?" Fred asked, his mouth pouting. This caused Lance to stare at him, completely shocked. Mystique had a frown on her face; she hated anything that had t do with religion.

"Grace!" Pietro commented, laughing as he did, sticking food into his mouth.

"I guess that works…" Fred said, a little sad. He then looked down at the plate and the cucumber salad. He turned extremely pale. "Please tell me you didn't kill Larry!"

This caused Lance, who was putting some of the spinach casserole into his mouth and suddenly choked on it, his eyes going wide and staring at Fred. He noticed that Todd and Pietro were suddenly laughing uproariously. He then swallowed and put down his fork. "What the hell are you talking about Freddy?"

"You know, Larry, from Vegitales…" Fred commented. "I think Mystique killed him and put him into our salads."

Mystique watched as Pietro and Todd suddenly fell out of their chairs laughing. "This isn't a laughing matter. I want to know what is going on."

"What the hell is Vegitales…?" Lance asked, taking another bite of the casserole.

"It's a Christian show or set of movies," Pietro commented off handedly. "It is about a cucumber named Larry and a tomato named Bob, plus a bunch of other characters that are vegetables and fruit… there are the French grapes."

This caused Lance to stop eating again and stair at Pietro, his jaw dropped. After a few seconds, he spoke up. "Vegetables… Christian show?"

"It doesn't blast you over the head and is very funny," Todd commented. "They have these funny songs in-between segments. One of the songs is about eating chocolate bunnies."

Rouge had been ignoring the whole conversation up until then, but when Lance was lost for words this time, she spoke up. "Aren't you guys too old for such a show?"

"I agree," Mystique said, shaking her head at them. "Expesully talking food… it can't be good for your minds."

"Ahh… come on Mystique… it's cool," Todd commented. "If we show it to Rouge, she'll actually be laughing for once."

"Mystique… isn't spinach a vegetable," Fred muttered, looking at his plate of food.

"Yes, it … is," Mystique said, suddenly realizing she shouldn't say anything.

"Lance! Don't eat the spinach… you'll be a cannibal," Fred suddenly yelled at the earth mover. Lance startled dropping his fork, and turning to stare at Fred, wide eyed. "I mean, it could be somebody's mom."

"I can't believe that a Christian show is using vegetables," Rouge commented. "I think that the Baptist church would throw a cow about it."

"I wouldn't know… I think I'm supposed to be Catholic," Lance said, pushing his plate away, having lost his appetite.

"You _think_ you're Catholic," Pietro said, hissing and holding his fingers out like a cross.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Mystique asked, raising an eyebrow at Magneto's offspring, "As I recall… oh…"

Fred looked at Mystique's face, which had a funny look on it. "What is the matter Mystique?"

"Magneto's Jewish…" Mystique mumbled. "... which means that hyper over there is too."

"As if he acts Jewish," Rouge suddenly snapped. "He loves his burgers and bacon."

"Ahh, shut up… it was the Roman Catholic Church that led the wars in Jerusalem and segregated my people," Pietro said, frowning at Lance. "I mean, they started both World Wars!"

Rouge suddenly snapped at him. "Moron, not only are you not a practicing Jew, but if you actually knew your history, you'd know that the Germans were against Catholics too! Good grief!"

"Hey… were the Germans against Buddhists?" Todd spoke up, raising his hand suddenly.

"Why do you ask?" Mystique asked, not really wanting to know where this was going, but she had to ask anyways.

"Because I'm wondering if Kurt's people were against us Buddhists," Todd commented, causing everyone except Fred to look at him.

"Moron… you aren't Buddhist…" Mystique commented, shaking her head. "And I know for a fact that not all Germans are Nazis… so please… the subject is closed."

"Can I ask one thing?" Fred suddenly spoke up.

"Alright Fred, what is it that you want to ask?" Mystique commented.

"Well… one member of my family is Baptist, one Methodist, and one Lutheran. So, does that mean I'm supposed to be all of them, or one of them?" Fred asked seriously, not sure of what the answer was.

"Where did that come from?" Lance stated, leaning on his arm.

"Well, you said you _think_ that you're Catholic? Isn't that like how I don't know what I am?" Fred asked.

"I had left with me a medallion with who ever the Saint of protecting children is supposed to be," Lance muttered. "I don't know if one of my family members left it with me, but I think that they had to have, and not one of the social workers because there was a rosary there too… though I haven't a clue what any of that means."

"Ha ha!" Pietro suddenly laughed. "Your mom decided to get rid of you because you were born out of wedlock."

Suddenly Lance lunged across the table at the boy, knocking the salad over, making it scatter all over. Fred lunged for the salad bowl. "Larry!"

"All right! It is official. At this table, religion is _not_ a subject that will be brought up again!"

Rouge tapped Fred and then grabbed Lance and dragged him off to the living room. "We might as well watch that show. Some laughter might calm him down."

"Bye!" Pietro said, hurrying off to go watch too, not giving Mystique the chance she needed to tell him that he needed to apologize to Lance.

"Can somebody help me bury Larry… and Bob… you cut up Bob too…" Fred snuffled. "Not to mention their mother."

"I'll handle this," Todd giggled, dragging Fred away, explaining that the characters in Vegitales weren't real, thus not to worry. Mystique pushed her food away, having lost her appetite to eat. She hoped that this conversation never occurred again. She also wondered if this thing ever happened at the X-mansion. She decided to go to her room as she heard laughter coming from the five teenagers.


End file.
